Noel P T

Somewhere between the clouds, time travelled back by a few hours, the brown land was whited by snow, and rupees lost its value and only dollars mattered. Yes, a few days ago, I landed back in Canada after a break of two months in India. After getting down the flight, I walked along with other passengers towards the belt to pick my baggage.

A little girl was walking with her mother just in front of me. On our way to the baggage belt, there was an escalator to climb up. I heard the woman saying to her little daughter, “Hold my hand,” and with these words, she placed her feet on the escalator, but the little girl looked at the moving steps of the escalator instead of looking at her mother’s hand extended towards her, and she was suddenly panicked. She stopped there while her mother was already moving up, away from her. The woman was worried as there was a crowd coming from the back which would swallow her daughter in few seconds, and there was no point in stepping down as the escalator was moving up at a fast pace. Out of worry, she repeatedly insisted her daughter to place her feet on the escalator, but the little girl kept looking down, being afraid to make that first step.

That was when I stepped in the escalator. Now, the little girl was behind me and her mother was in front of me. I turned at the little girl and extended my hand towards her, and for that one second, she didn’t look down at the scary step but at my assuring smile. At once, she held my hand and placed her foot on the first step of the escalator. The girl run to her mother to be embraced by her. With a sense of relief, the woman turned back and said thanks.

For few minutes, I kept thinking most of us are like this, when an issue comes, we keep looking down at the problem like she looked at the moving steps rather than looking at the solution which here was a hand that offered support. It might have all happened within a minute or so, but if I look at it closer, it was not just a moment of a child’s fear or a moment of a mother’s concern, it was a moment of faith in taking the first step.

-Noel P T

I was sitting inside the college canteen at lunch time, having a cutlet and a soft drink which was as cold as my life was then. That coldness might have hinted about my situation in those days when I was in first year of my college life. My mother had passed away few months back from then, and I even had issues with some professors who acted so rude to me. Life seemed hazy, and I was tensed while having each bite of the cutlet.

At once, I saw an unknown senior boy entering the canteen along with a girl who seemed more like his girlfriend. He appeared so happy with his lively face. I saw them sitting before a table next to mine. I don't know what made me look at him again… or no, maybe I was not looking at him, but was looking at his happiness wondering if happiness was a real concept or if it was a brief relief that fools people for a while. At that instant, the girl, who was with him, averted her face to look somewhere else, and his attention went on to my face. Looking at me, he said a line with a wink, “It's life, just enjoy!”

I couldn't understand why he said that to me when I was a complete stranger to him, nor did he know about the deadly situation I went through in my life. I doubted if my grief gushed out of my skin to reveal my secrets or if my face had lost the ability to hold back the sorrow within. I smiled softly to let him know that I absorbed his unsolicited advise, then continued having my cutlet and soft drink, and he got once again engaged in conversation with that girl.

I came out from the canteen to live my life that was concealed by haze. Later, I never came across that boy, or even might have seen him somewhere but I don't remember his face to know if it was him. And thereafter in life, I repeated that stranger's words to myself a thousand times, but each time when I say it to myself, I realize that still I am not understanding the actual sense of that simple line, “It's life, just enjoy!” -Noel

Two months ago, I met a guy on the bus while going back home from the college. He started talking to me when he came to know I am from kerala as he is too. We conversed about many things within 10 minutes like about how well we are liking Canada, where we live, what courses we study, what's my true interest and so on till I got down at my stop.

Yesterday, I saw him again while I was entering the college. This time, I initiated the conversation by saying, “Hi, we have once met before.” By his face expression, I realized he was trying his best to remember that, though couldn't really. But anyway, we started talking again. He was surprised how I remembered about his classes were online in the first semester, and it's his second year in Canada. Then he was trying to recollect and tell what course I am studying so that he could also show that he too remembers about me, but he couldn't, and I said again this time what program I am currently studying. Then it was time to part to our own classes to write the exam. I said, “Okay then, see you around,” to which he replied, “Sure, see you.” Then suddenly he remembered something and asked with a smile on his face, “Oh yeah, you are that writer guy, right?”

I guess when we speak to people, we tell everything in a normal way except about our interests. When we are asked about our passion, we express it in a way that gets printed in some part of their mind.

Yes, that tiny piece of information is what people remember about me, or maybe that tiny piece of information is what I want them to remember about me. -Noel

At night, I sat down in front of my laptop, doing a not so important work. I heard the rain's hammering voice outside to which my mind unintentionally paid attention. Suddenly, it thundered loud to let off the current. The electronic devices in the surrounding went off to create silence. I reacted acting disgusted, “Damn it, current went off!” At the same moment, I heard howling voices of neighbouring kids in excitement. I flipped the laptop to let it sleep, then without even attempting to light up a candle, I went straight to settle on my bed. Lying on bed, looking upwards at the ceiling, I saw nothing but darkness.

I gave ears to solo voice of rain that sounded like a sad poetry of the sky. With the bright beam of lightening, I saw the ceiling fan with its shadow casted on the roof, followed the terrible thundering sound which was not up to my liking. I continued staring upwards at the same darkness. Then for the second time, I saw the fan with its shadow casted on the roof. I doubted if it lightened again, then realized it wasn't lightening this time, but was my phone's screen notifying a message, yet I paid no notice.

While continuing cozy position on bed, my mind welcomed a thought that questioned me, “Why did neighbouring kids howl in excitement while I acted being disgusted? Am I not happy as they are when the current went off?” I accepted the lie in my previous deed, “Yes, I actually felt nice when the current went off.” Don't know why but I feel a weird kinda happiness everytime when current goes off at night, not sure if it's love for temporary darkness or if it's love for the silence attained when every device goes mute. In that quietude, I hear the tipsy leaves, I hear the foxy insects, I hear the mischievous kids, and I feel alive like I am living in the real world, not in any virtual world. In those minutes, I don't escape into quietness, rather I break into nature's true voice.

After a while, the rain stopped, current returned back to electronic devices, and a virtual world was built up around me within seconds. I exclaimed my next lie, “Uff, finally current came back!” but in fact, I secretly missed the silent absence of light. -Noel